I ran across a quote by Maya Angelou recently. As one of my favorite people, I immediately stopped what I was doing to really absorb what I was reading.
I thought about all the times when someone has asked how I’m doing, and my response has been, “I’ll survive.” I think we’ve all made that flippant comment without a thought to the real meaning of it. While my intent often was to express that whatever is going on, I’ll get through it, when I really contemplate the meaning of survive – to exist – I have to ask myself, “That’s it? Just exist?” There must be something more!
Getting By is Never Enough
It’s a conscious decision to thrive instead of merely survive. In defining “thrive”, Merriam-Webster uses the term “to flourish” or “to grow”. That’s where the real depth of Angelou’s quote comes in. To truly thrive, you need to feel that merely getting by is never enough. That in all endeavor, to go beyond to a better place is where learning and growth takes place, where you become a better person for the effort. Let’s face it…life’s road is never straight and smooth. There are twists and turns, bumps and stops. Occasionally I want to shout, “MOVE IT OR LOSE IT” to the slow driver in my fast lane. Then I realize they’re just trying to navigate life’s crazy road, too. Sometimes I can’t help but laugh when it feels like I can’t find my way out of a wet paper bag.
At one time, I found myself the “last one standing” from my senior team after multiple reorganizations and consolidations. I had been reassigned to a new boss who was clearly playing the “cover myself and save my job” card. I found myself fully engaged in “survive” mode. After years “on stage” and 100% committed to my role as a leader, I felt like a balloon slowly deflating. I covered it well, knowing that my actions or emotions would quickly be detected by my team. We worked very hard to consistent rank top team in the company, and we had a lot of fun together along the way. I had a hard time finding the fun anymore.
Every day, I’d pull up my big girl panties, go to work and maintain the façade of a happy, hardworking leader. It was exhausting, and I was losing myself. One day, he sat me down and said, “Barb, just because you dress nice doesn’t make you a vice president.” Yes, do read that sentence again. After 10 years of leading a consistently ranked top team in the entire company, my success was suddenly diminished to simply how I dressed every day. I laughed….I literally laughed out loud, right at him…Apparently to truly be a success in his eyes, I needed to look like a bag of rags tied in the middle!
Breaking Free
Sometimes life….and buffoons…give you the thump upside the head you need to break free from what’s holding you back, to move from survive to thrive. That one comment, and the ridiculousness of it, was exactly what I needed to right my path. It was at that point I realized I needed to change my mindset from survive to thrive and flourish. I was not going to merely exist, ever.
When the day came that my position was eliminated, I admit I felt a sense of relief; the game was over. But right alongside relief was joy. Not only had I thrived, I grew stronger than I ever thought possible. That day, I made a commitment to never again allow survival mode into my life. To thrive, every day I need to make an opportunity to grow and learn. I made a commitment to never lose connection to who I am. I think with a lot of humor, a smidge of grace, and just a tad bit of style I’ve succeeded.
So here’s what I say to you…If you feel your life is stuck in survival mode, ask yourself what ONE thing you can do today to begin heading toward flourish and growth. Find that one thing and DO IT.
Head to Comments below and share your One Thing. I’d love to know what you think….
