Getting Older is Weird!

No one ever tells you weird things happen to your body as you get older. Sure, we all make jokes about everything “heading south,” but no one ever tells you about all the other stuff that happens! Let’s do a quick rundown of my

Top 10 Weird Things that Happen as You Age

10) You forget what it’s like to sleep through the night. Oh, how I long for a non-stop 8-hour sleep.

9)   Speaking of sleep, what’s with waking up at 4:30 every morning on the dot, without alarm, regardless of what time you go to bed? It’s not so bad when you’re working, but retirement is going to be hell…

8)  You don’t have to dress like “Nanook of the North” in winter. In fact, let’s peel a layer or two off! Can someone turn the fan on?

7)  What do you mean, lift my chin? Apparently that stretches the little jowls that have recently appeared.

6)  Your skin gets so dry, removing knee socks looks a lot like Snowmadgeddon….and not just in winter! You know it’s bad when your black tights look like they’re heather gray by the end of the day.

5) What? I didn’t hear that….Could it be years of loud music blasting to entertain me on my commute or more recent use of earbuds? I don’t know, but I’m told I don’t “listen” very well anymore. I prefer to think I’m just being selective.

4) Where did my eyelids go? I read hooded eyes are a sign of intelligence…or maybe I dreamed that. Anyway, aging gives whole new meaning to “makeup artist.”

3) Brown spots – UGH! (Notice I called them “brown” not “age” spots!) Years of basking in the sun unprotected are now showing up as brown spots on my face and hands. While I’m now a long-time devotee to sunscreen, the damage was already done.

2) Snap, Crackle and Pop are only cute on a cereal box. Good grief….I have my own symphony every time I stand up thanks to years of running and aerobics, foot and knee surgeries, and everyone’s favorite, “Arthur-Itis”.

1) Eating spicy food is guaranteed to give you great, vivid dreams…..and acid reflux….and hot flashes…Can someone pass me the Mylanta?

How about you? Are you experiencing weird things as you age…love to hear from you. Head to comments below!