“Do not regret getting older. It is a privilege denied to many.” ~Unknown
I think of this quote so often as I find yet one more weird thing that changes as I get older. I’ve been surrounded by older adults pretty much my whole life. My mom, the youngest in her family, was 37 when I was born; my dad was 45. They always seemed “older” to me. Growing up, every adult I knew was of the “silver set.” In large part, that’s what prepared me for working in the senior living industry.
And…I come from “old bones.” One grandfather passed in his late-80s, one grandmother passed in her 90s, and my paternal grandmother was 102 when she passed. Damn…that’s old! Many of my aunts lived into their 90s. My father was 93, and probably would have outlived his mother (who was 102) if not for COPD, and that certainly was his goal. And my mom was 92 when we said goodbye. If I average them all together, I figure I’ll be here long enough to irritate just about everyone!
Postive or Negative?
I’ve been amazed at how differently people age from an emotional, spiritual and psychological view. There are those who lament every waking moment and those who rejoice to find themselves on the right side of the turf every day. How is it that some just cannot get beyond seeing the challenges and changes as personal insults, while others thumb their nose at Father Time before embarking on their next great adventure (i.e. President George HW Bush skydiving at age 90)? 
I’ve watched family age, supported and cared for parents and in-laws through significant health issues, dementia and end of life, and had the privilege of caring for former residents through aging, health setbacks and dementia, some to their final days. I’ve seen this great dichotomy live and in color. It’s caused me to really think about I want to age. Just how do I want my last trimester of life to be? How do I want to live my days – looking for the next bit of fun or watching the world pass me by?
Unfortunately, too often American media chooses to portray older adults as daft, feeble, cranky old coots sitting in rocking chairs watching life pass them by, yelling at the kids in the neighborhood. I also think a lot of people think that’s the way aging is supposed to be, just biding time until the grim reaper arrives. I’m here to tell you they’re all wrong!
A Conscious Decision
How you age is a conscious decision. It’s not something that happens without our involvement. Aging is something that can happen with us, not just to us. We can age gracefully, and on our own terms, once we embrace the inevitable and learn to find joy, even humor, in our life path. No one ever said aging would be easy. Maybe you need to change how you do things, but aging doesn’t need to mean you can no longer do….or be! My dad always said, “getting old isn’t for sissies.” He was right, and he did it right. Every day he was alive was a beautiful day, even when he was quickly nearing the end of his life. He never stopped doing and being…he simply never stopped.
A Student of Life
If I learned anything from my dad, it will always be that aging, indeed, is a privilege denied to many so don’t squander that privilege. As I age, I choose to be a student of life, to travel to new places, to keep moving even when my joints are sore (Sambra and I are best friends), to try foods I don’t think I’ll like (except sushi…or salmon…I won’t eat those), to color my hair until I’m 103 (there goes my pension), to always wear makeup including red or fuschia lipstick, to stay in fashion (except short skirts and daisy dukes!), and celebrate every.single.day with a huge dose of gratitude.
What do you want your last trimester of life to look like? What are you doing today to find joy and humor in aging gracefully? I’d love to hear from you!
P.S. I’ve built a list of favorite books on aging that I think you might like. They’re all a bit different in their purpose, but all lead to the same place: YOU hold the key to how you will age. Click on over to my Fab 5: Favorite Books for Aging Gracefully.
