Why is it people think nothing of spending time and money building legal and financial plans, but do nothing when it comes to a Life Plan? The financial plan gets all the attention, tweaks here and there – buy this, sell that; John’s in, Sally’s out. A will, trust, power of attorney, living will, and more…all boxes neatly checked off. Yet, when push comes to shove, there’s so much more that happens before any of those plans are tapped. It’s called LIFE!
Welcome to my first installment of Getting Older: A Life Plan. Over the next several posts, I’m going to talk about how to plan for aging. Sounds funny, right? “Plan” for aging? Yes, aging is inevitable for all of us. I’m pretty sure we can all say exactly what we don’t want – I don’t want to be sick, or immobile, or have dementia, or be alone. But I’ve found too many people don’t really think about what they want their aging to look like. Enter a Life Plan.
What is a Life Plan?
What is a life plan? It’s a plan that YOU make with YOUR decisions about how YOU want to live YOUR life as you age. See the theme? It’s all about YOU, and it’s made when YOU are able to make your own best decisions, long before it ever needs to be touched. Let’s face it, we all want to be in our own driver’s seat making our own decisions as long as we are able. And, when the time comes when we want to execute our plan or if we’re unable to make our own decisions and need to rely on family, we really just want them to make sure it happens on our own terms.
Too often in my time as the executive director of a large retirement community, I worked with distraught families who didn’t know mom or dad’s wishes or worse, didn’t support them; adult children who pushed their own wishes on mom or dad; and siblings torn apart in disagreement about what’s best for mom or dad. Without fail, the result was a lot of ugly, angry tears that could have been avoided if time was spent building a Life Plan, documenting it, and communicating it clearly to those you will rely on to help you execute it. I will tell you, it is the BEST gift you can give your children or whomever will support your wishes through aging.
5 Starting Points
While there are plenty more points that should be included in a Life Plan, here are 5 to get you started:
- If you’re having a tough time in your home, what will you do? (i.e. remodel your home; hire in lawn care, snow removal, housekeeping, errand service, car service; move to condo or apartment). How will you know that the solution is no longer working? Then what?
- If you decide to downsize, where do you want your things to go? (i.e. the hutch to Jane; the armoire to Jeffrey; clothes to the community closet; tools to a non-profit, etc). Make those decisions and get rid of things when you’re ready and able, and minimize the family feud.
- If you are widowed, will you stay in your home? Move to condo or apartment? Move closer to children? Move to a retirement community?
- If you decide to move to a retirement community, have you done your homework and selected one? Which one have you chosen? Where is it located? What type of housing have you chosen (ie home, condo, apartment)? Are you on a waiting list? If you choose to not pre-select where you will move, what are the most important features of a community – the absolutes, nice to haves, and absolutely nots?
- If you need care, how do you want that to look? (i.e. in-home caregivers as long as possible or move to community-based care). If in-home care, how will you know if that’s no longer working?
In my next installment, I’ll start breaking down options, where to find resources, and key questions to ask in making your choices. Stay tuned…