I had a conversation not too long about with a young professional just a few years into her career. We touch base now and then as she navigates challenges. I tend to not give her too many answers, preferring to ask questions that might lead her to her own answers. Sometimes it works; sometimes I just frustrate her more. It’s unintentional, believe me, but I’ve always believed everyone really does need to navigate their own path.
What’s the Big Deal?
She was hearing a lot of comments in her workplace about work-life balance. Apparently her company announced a focus on work-life balance for 2019, and she couldn’t understand why everyone was making such a big deal. In fact, many scoffed at the idea. We talked a bit about the “standard” definition – a life where your work life and private life are in balance. As a young, single gal trying to “make her bones” in her chosen field her only focus was getting to her desired position, with friends, family and fun barely on her radar. And, that’s when the mother, mentor, and “survivor” in me kicked in.
Not a New Topic
Interestingly, the term “work life balance” started growing roots in the last 1970s and early 1980s, right about the time women finally began to make in-roads in the corporate world. We were graduating college at a faster rate, and with degrees that would not lead us to the traditional nurse, teacher, secretary roles. I, too, stepped onto my first career path in the early 1980s.
I’m over 30 years into my work-life travels and there are two truths I know:
There’s no such thing as work-life balance.
You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Balance is going to have different definitions based on your stage of life. If you’re just starting out, you’re going to have to work hard to learn and grow your expertise. Sometimes that means long hours, a lot of travel, and overwhelming responsibilities. Or if you’re making a significant career change, that will cycle you through another hard stretch. What’s important is that you learn early in your career to proactively build in time for yourself and what renews you – friend time, exercise, vacation – and by proactively I mean put it on your calendar, in ink, and hold that time sacred.
The Full Cup
“You cannot pour from an empty cup” means you must take care of yourself first. Life is too short to lose yourself getting caught up in the rat race. Too many life moments are missed when you only focus on work, moments you never get back. You cannot achieve your dreams if you’re not continually filling your cup. For years, the idea of balance wasn’t on any woman’s radar. In the struggle to get ahead in the corporate world, many women like me believed the only way to get ahead was 100% focus and devotion to work. The concept of having a life outside of work was foreign, and certainly not encouraged. Thank God that’s changing now, but women still have a long way to go.
Filling your cup becomes more important as you begin approaching retirement years. I ask myself all the time, ‘When you retire what are you going to do? What hobbies will you have? What will bring you joy? What will get you up and moving every single morning when work is not calling your name? What are you doing today that will keep you healthy and active tomorrow?’ When for so long my identity has been tied to my job, my position or my company, these questions really hit me hard. At the end of the day, how I answer those questions will keep my life in balance.
What do you think? Is work-life balance really achievable? How do you balance all of life’s responsibilities and keep your cup full? Comment below….I’d love to hear from you!
