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I remember when the movie, “The Bucket List” came out and everyone started talking about their list. The movie stars Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freemen, two men who meet over cocktails of chemotherapy. Nicholson is a hard, mouthy and abrasive businessman. Freeman is introspective, soft-spoken mechanic and family man. While they confront uncertain futures, they try to come to terms with how they’ve led their lives. It’s a wonderful movie, if you’ve never seen it.
Begin With the End in Mind
The Vexed Man…and me! The Getty Museum
As I watched the movie, it brought to mind Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits, specifically Habit #2 – Begin with the End in Mind. He starts the chapter in a funeral home, listening in on all the things people are saying about the deceased. It’s only as you continue reading that you realize the deceased is you, and he questions, “What do you want people to say about you when you’re gone?”
My motto has always been, “life with no regrets.” Sounds great…looks great on a t-shirt or coffee mug. But the truth is, if I had to do it all over again I would change an awful lot of things. It’s not that I have regrets as much as I have lost moments – things I wish I’d done when I was younger or done differently, things I can’t go back and undo or redo. There are experiences I still want to have, places to visit, and new things to learn.
Urgency Sets In
Elephant Seal Rookery – Piedras Blancas, CA USA
The older I’ve gotten, the stronger the sense of urgency has become. It feels too much like the clock is ticking faster, and I can’t keep up. I’m going to run out of time before I can see or do or be all that I want. Losing friends in their 30s and 40s to cancer, working with older adults and people with dementia, and saying goodbye to my parents have all changed how I view life. What I thought was important, is no longer. So caught up in my career, keeping a roof over our heads, and what feels like just running in place, I’ve forgotten how to LIVE. There’s a quote I can’t fully recall from the movie “Last Holiday”, starring Queen Latifah that goes something like, “you hustle, and hustle…and one day you realize you’re gonna die.” WOW…smacked me right in the kisser when I heard that!
A number of years ago, as I was facing a lot of change in my life, I seriously started thinking about what my bucket list might include. What have I missed in my life that I have this burning urgency to do or experience? There’s really only so long you can live vicariously through books, movies or television, right? It was time I started putting “life without regrets” at the front of my mind, instead of relegated as an afterthought. I started my bucket list in 2008, and I’ve carried it with me ever since. I didn’t want to miss adding something to my list that popped to mind. More importantly, I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to cross one off!
Checking Off the List
My list started with “Drive the Pacific Coast Highway”…and I did that in May 2018. Next up was “See Big Sur”…and I did that. Since I was in the neighborhood, I also had “See Malibu”. Bing, Bing, Bing…three of them knocked off on that one trip! I will always remember the sights, sounds and smells. Two girlfriends and I flew into Los Angeles, rented a car, and played it by ear, day by day, all the way up the coast to San Francisco. Breathtaking views, amazing food, two of my very best friends…and an ostrich farm and elephant seal rookery to boot!
My first attempt at sketching!
Next up was “start a blog.” Bing – did that/doing that as of January 2019. I hit “master making pasta” in 2008 when a former co-worker and her husband came for the day to teach me. I’m frankly quite good at it! She also taught me how to make cannoli, but that’s a work in progress (those bugger tubes kill me every time!). My list also includes learn to draw, learn to watercolor, learn fancy lettering, and learn Zentangle.
In 2017, while working at a retirement community, one of my many master artists in residence coached me through starting a pencil drawing. He even did a basic outline to get me going. I’m almost finished with the pencil part (yeah, I didn’t exactly rush into this one), and will start giving it color soon…but I’m scared to death I’ll ruin it! My goal is to finish it and mail it to him this spring as thanks. And, I’m not stopping there. I’m sketching out a series of greeting and note cards. I’ll even take you step by step through my painful drawing process in an upcoming post. I am the epitome of a “tortured artist”…you might want to shield small children’s eyes.
What’s On My List
I have a lot of trips on my list – Ireland, Italy, Australia, Switzerland to name a few, along with places right here in my own state like Devil’s Lake, Madeline Island, and the Grand Hotel on Mackinaw Island. I want to ride a mule into the Grand Canyon (that’ll be a screaming hoot!), camp at Yellowstone (probably RV – not so good at tent-pitching origami), and read all the Classics (according to BookBub, there are 100…I better get crackin’!). And, I want to learn my dad’s lineage, become a good photographer, brush up on my Spanish, learn conversational Italian, master making divinity (seafoam) in memory of my Aunt Catherine’s amazing seafoam, and learn to like fish (yup, I don’t particularly care for fish…especially salmon. That makes me want to upchuck).
I’ve often joked that I have champagne taste on a beer budget, and sometimes when I look at my list I get a bit discouraged. The rich relative fund is pretty much off the table, so I’ll have to rely on winning the lottery to finance my bucket list. But that’s o.k. Building my bucket list gives me hope… that I’m blessed with an awful lot more years on this bumpy blue ball.
Do you have a bucket list? Have you checked items off? Have a great idea of something I simply MUST do or try? Love to hear from you in Comments below…
