Required Disclaimers!
Disclaimer #1 – I’m still very new at blogging….translated…I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing even 50% of the time. On a good day, I roll at maybe 8%!
Disclaimer #2 – I’m not a techie…at all…like nada. Zippo…But, I know how to turn my MacBook on, and I can “google” (that’s a verb, right?) like the wind, so I’ve got that going for me.
Disclaimer #3 – I’m not good at reading instructions. I’m great at GIVING instructions (not always welcomed, but I’m great at it!). I’m also great at heartburn and headaches because I don’t read the instructions first. Why can’t things still come with printed instructions? I need a book…give me a damn book, people. And a good one, too!
Disclaimer #4 – When I’m frustrated, I invent new 4-letter words. I’m a master at 4-letter words. In fact I’m so good, I sometimes branch into 5- and 6-letter words. Yup, I’m that good…
So, now that I’ve done my official disclosures, welcome to my series, Beginner Blogging! I want to tell you the REAL truth that no one tells you about starting a blog. And if you’re still intent on starting one, I’ll also attempt to give you my top “Do This Unless You’re a Blogging Masochist” list. With any luck, this will all come together in a logical, easy to follow order so you can save time and headaches, or you can jump around. It’s your gig, right?! I’m in the process of developing some tools so watch for those coming soon! P.S….anyone who tells you that you can be up and running in 30-minutes is crazy…just sayin’…
The Truth
I read a million pins and blogs (not an exaggeration, despite Disclaimer #3) before I got started. Did I tell you I’m also a Pinterest master? I spent months scouring Pinterest (check out my Blogosphere Pins, if you dare), trying to wrap my head all the way around blogging. The pins all SHOUT how to blog successfully – Top 5 This, Top 10 That; Do This, Don’t Do That; Make Money, Get Rich….UGGGHHHH!
Everybody has the best way to do it…or don’t do it….and I mean everybody. God bless ‘em all, but none of them know me, and what makes my heart sing. I got myself hung up in “paralysis by analysis.” I’m also kind of a cynical skeptic (is that redundant?), so part of me was thinking, “Ding Ding…BS meter…High Alert! Can you REALLY do this?”
The Real Truth
The one thing that was missing is the absolute, painful, punch-in-the-gut truth that said, “It ain’t easy, sister. You’re going to kick yourself at least 100 times while you’re trying to set up. Ten bucks says you’ll cry at some point. You’re going to question who the hell’s going to read your stuff anyway. Get rich and be debt free? Retire early? HA! You’ll never figure out how to make money at this…you’ll be dead by then. And by the way, you’ll never figure out the technology. You’re going to quit in a 
heartbeat.”
I’M NO QUITTERRRRR… I’m TOUGH….I’ve survived bad bosses and toxic cultures. “I CAN DO THIS,” I wanted to shout. But I knew my pupper, Mona, would go crazy and then there goes another hour of goofing off.
First Steps
Do This #1 – Make a Decision – Waffles are for Breakfast
As they say here in Wisconsin, fish or cut bait (that means either do it or don’t; just make a damn decision!). I stopped waffling and made the decision to start a blog in April of 2018 while sitting in a coffee shop waiting for a friend. Some life changes had come my way and I thought, “What the hell…you need an outlet, you need to stretch yourself, and you need to write again.” I was also having a bit of a pity party and kept thinking, “Life is just a damn parody – a joke, a poorly written comedy and no one understands the punchline.” And so it goes… Untamed Parody was born.
Now…if you’re even a half step further along than I was when I started, and already know what you want your blog to be about…KUDOS….HIGH FIVE….ALL AROUND CHEERS to you! I had no idea. I only knew I had a lot of thoughts and ideas ricocheting in my brain, but nothing led me to a theme.
The Lifestyle Blog is Born
While the experts say you should to have a niche, the rebel in me said, “Screw it. I’ll write what I want.” I’d done a lot of business and technical writing over the years. Heck, at one time I could disassemble and rebuild a paper machine…on paper! And today, I write operations, sales/marketing, process and clinical analyses and recommendations in my role as a consultant.
Know this….IT’S O.K. if you don’t have a theme! I know you have read, or will read, a lot of articles about the importance of having a theme. But…there is this thing called a “Lifestyle Blog” that can work for you, too. In my very humble opinion, starting off with a lifestyle (a.k.a “mixed bag”) blog is a great way to hone your skills and find your niche. You can always fine tune, or even start another blog (GASP!) if you find your niche.
It’s Official
Because all I had at this point was my name, I went directly to Hover.com and searched “Untamed Parody.” It was available. Then I hopped on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Gmail. The planets had aligned; my name was available everywhere. I was good to go.
I chose to register on Hover.com because it was simple and cheap (did I mention I’m cheap?), and I registered for 3 years to get the lowest rate. And, many experts will tell you not to put all your waffles on one plate – you should separate your domain from your host. I went BIG, baby…3 whole years! I didn’t know what I’d do with the domain…but I had it…my very own…before I finished my first cup of coffee!
I then set up my Gmail address, Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts for UntamedParody. I was officially official. There are a lot more social media spots out there, but I chose these because I’m most familiar.
Finding Your Way
Do This #2 – WRITE, WRITE BABY!
Now that I had my domain I started writing with abandon, something I hadn’t done in years. I wrote about anything that hit my fancy. But this time I was doing fun writing. It is probable that I did this backwards…wouldn’t surprise me in the least! YOU might find that starting with writing will lead you to your blog niche and/or your blog name. You need to find what makes your heart sing, or you’ll struggle to stay committed and consistent.
Back to writing….I was so excited to be writing, I ditched my draggy laptop and got myself a slick MacBook Air. Go big or go home, am I right? Yeah, that was pretty dumb. Don’t do that. I knew my laptop like the back of my hand. My MacBook felt like someone else’s hand. It took me a bit to get the hang of it. Eventually we made like friends and I got back to work. 
In no time I had almost 100 articles drafted, ready for edits and photography. Because I’d been writing about foods I love and family favorites, I’d also been cooking a lot….my husband loved that part! I started an ideas notebook so that I’d hopefully never run out of things to blog about. My list just might outlive me…
I share this because this was the best second step I took. I led me toward selecting my theme and layout, my menu, my affiliate programs and companies I wanted to include as advertisers, who I want to collaborate with, and who I want to follow as mentors. Spending literally three months writing laid my foundation, my path forward.
So there you have it….Steps 1 & 2…the easiest steps you’ll take. Next up, Hosts & Platforms – And I’m Not Talking Martha Stewart’s Shoes! See you then, and in the meantime, tell me about your startup path. Where did you start? How did you come up with your name? Do you have a niche? I’d love to hear from you!
