I wish someone would write a book about what it’s really like to fire someone. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the jerk that doesn’t bother to show up for her shift at least twice a week, or the idiot that made a mistake that cost you thousands of dollars, or creep who can’t seem to understand why he shouldn’t swear at the customer. It could be person who is on-time and willing to stay late, who is a genuinely kind person…..but couldn’t hit a sales quota to save their life…and their job is sales. Or, it could be the person who is just one more than you need and you need to make cuts. No matter who it is, the responsibility of firing someone just simply sucks.
Where Leadership Development is Lacking
If you’re lucky enough to have actually gone through a leadership development program, odds are pretty good they failed to tell you, “Oh by the way, you’re going to have to fire people, too.” Oftentimes those programs spend a lot of time on coaching or even disciplinary processes. But in m experience, many leaders are unprepared or ill-equipped for that responsibility, even after years in position. And by the way…it IS a responsibility. Most programs will teach you how to do due diligence, coach, train, retrain, and cajole. Maybe your program covered how to incentivize (is that even a real word?) people, and if your leadership development program didn’t tell you about disciplinary action your HR folks certainly will!
The Truth
In the course of my career, I’ve probably had over 2,000 people reporting to me. My peak was over 400 at one time. These folks have ranged from first-jobbers to end-of-career to differently-abled, in a wide variety of roles and at all levels of responsibility. I’ve never been one for a rapid firing, unless it’s a jerk, idiot or creep (see definitions above). I strongly believe I can teach anyone anything tactically. But sometimes that isn’t enough.
You can tell yourself it’s for the good of the team or the company. You can rationalize it by saying you’ve done everything you could. The kicker is the actual, gut-wrenching conversation when you need to effectively tell someone, “You’re not good enough.” Oh, you might not use those exact words (or maybe you do), but you know and they know that’s what you’re saying. I’ve always tried to see the abilities in everyone, preferring to reposition someone if I can, rather than firing them. I’ve always tried my best to be clear on expectations, communications, positive coaching and corrective conversations. I’m a builder….not a breaker. Firing people goes against my grain, what’s in my very soul, and it sucks….it really sucks….even when it’s a jerk.
The Fact is YOU Failed
I’ve often heard backside conversations after I’ve let someone go. Sometimes team members are relieved they don’t have to carry, or deal with, that person anymore. Other times, team members blame “management” for being jerks. If you’ve never fired someone, I’m here to tell you, “It ain’t that easy and it stinks!” It’s a kick-in-the-gut, make-you-want-to-throw-up feeling because the fact of the matter is YOU failed. You failed to hire the right person. You failed to train them well or enough. You failed to coach and support them properly. You put them on the wrong team. You hired them into the wrong position…..the list goes on and on.
The Human Side
I’ve spent many nights wide awake, running through my head how a conversation should go, agonizing over how that person will feel when I tell them they are no longer a part of my team. I have always believed that you hold that person’s life in your hands when you are a leader. Sounds dramatic, I know. But you can never, never forget that this is a human being who may have a family to support, certainly needs to keep a roof over their head, who has feelings and emotions. They are not heads, bodies, or FTEs. They are human beings. So, I tell you….if you think it’s easy, you’re wrong….very wrong. If you are in a position of responsibility and firing does not phase you in the least, you are not a leader. Perhaps it’s time for you to step away.
There’s an old saying that says, “Be careful what you wish for.” So many times I hear young professionals who have a simple goal – to have a team reporting to them. There’s some distinction or status to be in a role of “having people.” Be careful what you wish for….While it can be the absolute best, most exhilarating feeling in the world to coach and lead people, sometimes you’re going to want to throw up.
Tell me about your experiences in letting folks go, or if you’ve been let go. How was it – professional? Painful? Love to hear from you in comments below.
